Shame on all of you. I’ve been on this planet for 30 years now and not once has anyone ever said to me that I should watch Road House. Sure, the film has been commonly referenced in pop culture…

But how on Earth has nobody ever illustrated exactly how amazing this movie is? I’ve mentioned it before but growing up my friends and I loved these campy B-movies. The ‘so bad it’s good’ genre is filled with tons of hidden gems out there and yet somehow this one was hiding in plain sight to me.

Everything about it is amazing. The over-the-top fighting, hammy dialogue, excessive explosions, the hair, the music, Patrick Swayze taking his shirt off at every chance, and a premise so silly it actually makes sense. It only took five minutes to suck me in hook, line, and sinker. The idea that a bar owner flew halfway across to country to hire the best bouncer there is is such a wild way to kick off a film that I knew I was in for a treat.

This genre is a tricky one to nail. On the one hand, there are films out that that are legitimately so bad that its hilarious that someone ever spent the brain power and finances to make such a thing. Classic example: The Room. On the other hand, filmmakers to intentionally make these films often miss the charm of those films that legitimately thought they were good. Road House is a perfect mix of this as not only does the film seem to genuinely embrace how cartoonish everything is but they are legitimately trying to tell an interesting story. It’s the kind of film that would be roasted by critics today but clearly this isn’t a film looking for recognition from the Academy. This is just two-hours of bar fights, sex, and small town caricatures. Hell, the even named the main love interest after her profession. Imagine the dialogue going on in the writer’s head:

“Hmm, she’s a hot doctor, what should we call her?

“Doc?”

“Brilliant!” *starts typing*

But what I really want to know is that how screenwriter Hilary Hankin managed to piece together this line that only a true wordsmith could conceive.

I imagine this scene was ripped out of a New Yorker article.

There’s life before Road House and after Road House and now I live in a world knowing that we as a society have failed in not telling me specifically how hilarious this movie is.